Featured products
🗂️ Featured Products: Official Correspondence, Unofficially
Welcome to the ACME Advice Company’s flagship offerings — two fully automated, bureaucratically blessed documents designed to help you say what needs to be said… without saying it yourself.
📝 Advisory Note
A formal, third-party memo that delivers your message with the gravitas of a government agency. Whether you’re offering unsolicited advice, issuing a gentle reprimand, or simply making your position known, the Advisory Note does it with impeccable formality and plausible deniability.
📬 Return Message
A tactful, anonymous response to something you never asked for — a gift, a gesture, or a gross overstep. Just scan the QR code on your card, write your reaction, and we’ll generate a perfectly calibrated message to send back on your behalf.
How it works:
- Choose your product and select a tone (Supportive, Witty, Petty, or Existential).
- Describe the situation — what happened, what needs to be said.
- Preview your AI-generated message.
- Approve and check out — we’ll handle the rest, including formatting, printing, and delivery.
No confrontation. No awkward texts. Just beautifully bureaucratic closure.
— with complete anonymity.
